The Marshall Protocol Study Site > PROGRESS REPORTS [members in study cohort] > Phase One Alumni Forum > eClaire - Progress
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The Marshall Protocol Study Site > PROGRESS REPORTS [members in study cohort] > Phase One Alumni Forum > eClaire - Progress |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2 
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Link to eClaire's Phase 1 PR: http://www.marshallprotocol.com/forum20/8002-1.html As I finish up my first two weeks in Phase 2, I thought it would be good to create this Progress Report to get me in the habit of posting not only my progress, but also any insights I might have along the way that pertain to me. Hopefully, this PR will remind me of what I've learned so far on the MP (and if it benefits anyone else, that's icing on the cake). Claire What I Learned about being in Phase 1: Same thing I've been being taught by life over and over and over: worry less. As a general rule, for me personally, it's not a good idea for me to ramp abx when taking more than 40mg q6h Benicar; if I am taking more Benicar than that, I probably already have enough IPR (I cut back on the Benicar to q6h to get more IPR and to stablize before ramping abx). Phase 2 Progress Report # 1: The first two weeks on the 2nd abx has been so much easier than my first two weeks on the first abx alone, where I found myself in a runaway IPR that had to be damped down with 40mg q4h Benicar and 25mg q6h Mino. What success! Having a pretty uneventful first two weeks, tells me I've killed off a lot of bacteria. The 2nd abx did knock me back in regard to energy (had next to none anyway before starting the MP and also before starting ModPh2), but the drop in energy is no doubt also connected to dropping from 100mg Mino, where I felt my best, to 25mg Mino for several days before beginning the 2nd abx, which isnt necessary to do but I did. What I've Learned about my MP Toolkit: Aussie Barb frequently refers MPers to the idea of developing an MP toolkit. And I've thought that my toolkit should contain only those strategies and palliatives that for me. However, as my body has changed so has what works for me. And so now I imagine a rather large toolkit that stays in my truck. I carry a tool belt now instead--that is, those things that seem to be working for me now. When the tool no longer fits, I throw it back into the tool kit and try something else. Later, that tool may be perfect for me once again. For example, I tried more frequent dosing of Benicar--i.e., 20mg every 2 hours instead of 40mg every 4. That made things worse for me at that time. However, recently--about a week into ModPh2--on a 40mg q6h schedule I found that I was having significanlty more IPR in the two hours before my next Benicar dose. I changed to the 20mg q3h schedule during the day--the kind of schedule that didn't work before--and I felt so much better. |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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What I Learned about Sunlight Exposure to date: When testing whether I can tolerate more sun (particularly when I am able to handle more indoor light), I go really slow. That is, decided on the test and did it only once or twice a week so I can assess not only the short-term side affects but whether there are any long-term side affects. If I test daily, the long-term affects can sneak up on me and not be noticeable, slowing my progress. It's best for me to ere on the side of being conservative when testing MP lifestyle changes. What I learned about Making Short Work of Time: When it comes to time, it is okay to play head games. I hope to see full recovery in 5 to 7 years (note that full recovery does not necessarily mean the end of Benicar or abx). That seems like a long time. However, I am more than 6 months into that. That's 1/10th of 5 years and 1/14th of 7, and that sounds pretty good to me. In a year's time, I'll be able to break it up into 1 year chunks (i.e., I will have reached 2/10ths or 1/5 and isn't that a big chunk of time). Also, while understanding the MP is a good thing, for me it's not a good idea to be reading Phase 3 progress reports b/c seeing all of the Phase 3 combos just makes time seem longer. It's better for me to focus on now and the path just in front of me (and also those little fractions I'm working on). |
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SherryH Member in Phase 2/3 
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Hi Claire, I enjoyed reading your insights here...can relate to many of them myself. i especially liked your analogy of the tools in the truck and just using the few at a time located in toolbelt. Made lots of sense to me! Good to see you progress.....thanks for sharing.  Sherry |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Progress Report # 2: It's been over 9 months since I started the protocol and I have not experienced much progress. But I have experienced some progress. I now only feel slight numbness in the top of my left foot and I have to wiggle it to feel that (I used to feel numbness in both feet and my left hand). Although at times I have sharp body pains, they have decreased in number. The seborrhea is gone from my face (although you would not know it from the flaking of the sunscreen I use...I'm nearly blind without my glasses and cannot see it while it's drying to know if I've rubbed it in well enough). And for a couple of weeks, I actually had about 2 hours per day of energy again (alas, that's been lost to new rounds of IPR). Although I haven't experienced a lot of progress (in fact, I now have plaque on my teeth where I had none before and am of course even more exhausted), I am not at all worried about that. Why? See Pam's Progress. Pam and I not only share many similar pre-MP symptoms, but many similar symtpoms while on the MP (so she is a good person for me to watch). She has been on the protocol not quite a year longer than me and felt compelled to take a break because of runaway herxing. Pre break she was still (yes, basically still) where I am now (for the most part). What she found while on the break is that she is 30 to 40% better. And she now knows without a doubt that the MP is the way to go. Her break has become my break, giving me the strength to keep on keeping on. To Pam and all the other folk who inspire me on this site, "THANK YOU!" Claire Last edited on Fri Aug 31st, 2007 22:55 by eClaire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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What I learned (note this is only what I have learned and may not apply to you): Doing the MP is most confusing. The body is changing all the time. Think of it as a little eco system. As we kill off bacteria, the eco system changes. That's why there is virtually no predictability (sometimes things are pedictable--that is, until they are not) and virtually no certainty as to exactly what combination works when. There are general guidelines (that is, we know Benicar and low-dosed, pulsed abx help us kill the bacteria and we know somewhat about what abx works on what bacteria and even what the phases probably ought to be), and so it's best to try not to be frustrated by the lack of certainty, the seeming lack of direction. The direction is there, but the nuance is my own because my eco environment is my own. So I think I have to expect being wrong at least half the time. If your batting average is greater than that (and your body is much more predictable), then be very glad and bravo to you! |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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A little after nine months in... After years of being unable to fall asleep on my right side due to dizziness, nausea, and terrible hot sweats, I am now being able to fall asleep on my right side more than half the time. The improvement has come on rather quickly and seems to be sticking! Claire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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What I learned - 2 New Tools For My Toolkit: Tool # 1 - Stretching Out The Dosing Schedule (or why I decided to try this again) By mid September (9 1/2 months into the MP), I was becoming demoralized. My will was sapped. I was still unable to tell any difference between day 1 and day 2. I was experiencing no good times. And I was progressively and slowly feeling worse--that is, I was experiencing no positive moments while standing up or walking. Indeed, my heart would race, my pulse would pound in my ears, I would become short of breath, I would feel dizzy, and my vision would start to dim (disappear from the outside in)--often just trying to walk across the room. Initially, after my first dose of Mino, when I experienced heart arrhythmia, I tried a q72h and a q96h dose and felt worse. And it never occured to me to try again until I decided, when at my lowest, to take my own advice and stay open to the idea that what didn't work then might work now. It occurred to me that perhaps my body was not getting rid of the abx in the 48 hour period and my feeling worse on Day 3 and 4 was evidence of that and not evidence that I needed to take abx more often as is generally thought to be the case. At any rate, for the first two to three weeks I felt worse to the same on days 3 and 4 as I had on Day 2. Not promising, but 1/2 of the way through, the dimming vision stopped. And then, at 3 weeks, I all of a sudden had 5 hours of dragging around energy (it was kicking my butt moving around, but prior to this I had trouble just walking across the room and so I kept going because I was just so amazed) OUT OF NOWHERE. Prior to this, I had to take Quercetin to have any dragging around energy and that had begun to stop working for me. After a week of feeling better on the q72h schedule, I decided to try a MWF abx schedule (like most, I want to kick bacterial butt), but my symptoms swiftly shot back up after a WF/MW trial. And so I came to understand that not only was my q48h schedule too much for me so was the MWF schedule. I have now settled on a q96h/q72h schedule and my life is vastly improved. Overtime, as my body gets healthier and better able to process the abx (and handle the IPR), I imagine that I will drop back down to a q72h schedule and then a MWF schedule and then a q48h abx schedule. I plan to get back to the q48h abx schedule while in Mod Ph 2 before moving on to regular Phase 2. I figure that will be a sign that I am doing well enough to progress to regular Phase 2. (Although I have been told by a moderator that some MPers use the q72h abx dosing schedule--for most of the abx--throughout all the phases, and so I may end up modifying my planned strategy.) Tool # 2 - Modifying the q6h Benicar Schedule to Manage My 6pm Herx I read somewhere once that some American Indians believe that we have an hour of power. It's that time during the day when we are most energized, when our bodies are operating at their peak. Prior to the MP, my hour of power was sometime between 6 and 8 pm. After starting the MP, this is when I had my worst IPR, and once revved, my whole evening would be shot to miserable, near intolerable IPR. The 9.3.9.3 Benicar schedule had been working for me because of sleep issues related to the evening dose and the 3am dose allowed me to have some time to fall back to sleep (if I was able) before the morning alarm would go off, and so I wasn't interested in changing it. But SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE to dampen the 6pm herx. I tried taking an extra 20mg at 6pm and then 5:30pm, but that did not help. Then, I decided that since it takes 1 to 2 hours for Benicar to reach its full level in one's blood stream that I needed to take my 40mg Benicar 1 1/2 hours prior to the 6pm herx (or 4:30pm). However, that raised a bit of a problem if I wanted to stick with the remaining 9.3.9 schedule, as that would put 7.5 hours between the 9am and the 4:30pm dose when I was used to six hours, and so I decided to add 20mg at 1pm (what I call my booster). Now with a 40 @ 9am, 20 @ 1pm, 40 @4:30pm, 40 @9pm, and 40 @3am schedule, I NO LONGER HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH A 6PM HERX. Last edited on Sun Nov 11th, 2007 23:44 by eClaire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Progress Report # 4: Although the progress I report below was not noticed until I switched to a q72h abx schedule, I have had significant progress that I had not noted previously. Sometime last spring I started having the ability to sit in the recliner for a couple of hours on end at least once a day. This was not simply an improvement that would return me to my pre-MP state of health; it was an improvement over the previous three years. Since crashing and becoming totally disabled, I had had difficulty doing anything but lying flat and walking. Reclining at all made me ill--even with a small pillow on top of my regular pillow in bed. This improvement has remained pretty constant since showing up last spring. So being able to recline (and now also sit up at the table for many meals) is a major improvement for me! Other improvements noted since changing to the new abx dosing schedule:
 Life is good; love life back. Claire Last edited on Mon Nov 12th, 2007 00:21 by eClaire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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What I learned: Although I know it is good for me to be back to q6h 40mg Benicar before ramping abx (if I can't handle the abx at q6h, then I'm not ready to ramp), I have been very resistant to taking extra Benicar (ramping to q5h or q4h) in between abx doses. Well, I'm now on a MF abx schedule and so I have plenty of time to use higher Benicar doses to dampen IPR and also find out if, once dampened, I can handle the q6h dosing. Still, I've resisted. I've noted that continuing resistance, but haven't been able to figure out why. (You have to love the Th1 mind.  )Finally, it occurred to me that my wrist pill reminder was too difficult for me to change as needed.  Right at that moment I got online and ordered an easier pill reminder. http://www.epill.com/multibox.html?source=google While it only runs from 6am to Midnight, I use my cell phone for the middle of the night pill reminder.Every thing is copasetic now.  Last edited on Wed Nov 28th, 2007 05:47 by eClaire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! Tomorrow marks the one year Anniversay of my being on the MP. Last night I noticed, what is for me, amazing progress. About a year and two weeks ago (pre-abx even), while being driven over to my mother's in the dark with my 2% NoIRs, I would have to keep my eyes shut to avoid looking at the lights. (My photosensitivity after abx became such that for three weeks I could only tolerate about 30 to 60 min of light a day, and that was a 15 watt lamp positioned behind me with my 2% NoIRs on. To shower, I'd leave the bathroom door cracked an inch with only the 15 watt light across the bedroom on.) The great news is: last night while driving home from my mother's, eye's open with 10% NoIRs on (sometimes 40% when driving at night), I could look at and enjoy the Christmas lights I missed last year. Yippeeeeee!!! |
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VEZ R.N. Health Professional
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Thank you for the progress report Claire. It is good to hear you have experienced a significant change in your photo-sensitivity. Glad you are having some positive feedback, you have been working hard. Keep it up! Take Care, VEZ |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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I'm updating so soon to report some significant progress that came to mind yesterday and in the past week. Progress, particularly when one is still experiencing some heavy IPR, can sneak up on you and so I thought I'd capture these observations now. Often you, er, I don't realize that a symptom is gone until someone else mentions having that symptom. Then, the light bulb goes on. Plus, I'm sending this link to my cousin in N. Ireland so she can follow my progress and I thought I ought to bring things up to date. Progress Report # 5: I realized yesterday that I've had only one small hot flash in the last 2 to 3 months. In addition to the typical run of the mill hot flashes, back flashes, a particularly nasty type of rolling heat wave up my back that would go on all night keeping me awake, had become a big problem for me in the last four years (I'd been having hot flashes for 15 years, beginning in my mid 30s). Also, urinary incontinence, a minor problem since my 20s, had started to become a serious problem in the last four years. Now, I'm back to where I was 5 years ago, a major improvement. |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Progress Report # 6: I've forgotten to mention that for some time now (about 3 months) my energy is better. That is, even though I do not have as much energy in terms of the number of hours in the day that I had pre-MP, the energy I have is of a better quality. Mainly, I don't feel like walking death. I don't feel healthy, but what I am feeling when I have energy is a good deal better than what I was feeling most of the when I had energy pre-MP. And for a couple of hours last spring I actually felt like a vibrantly healthy person. So I got a peek at what the future will bring. |
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zeno_the_stoic Member in Phase 3 
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Hi Claire, I've been reading your posts and I have salute your tenacity and thoroughness. You are encouraging me to keep a closer eye on the details. The healing is in the details we miss. For instance it's been more than a month since I've had a gout attack...ah sweet relief . I just noted that while reading your post.Hang in there! |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Thank you Zeno! Glad to hear that you haven't had a gout attack for a while. What I learned about the MP Toolkit and myself: Since July 4, I have been having bursitis in my R shoulder; it finally reached the point of intolerable last week. I have difficulty taking pain medications and so I have been stoic until stoic no longer worked and I found myself being fearful of every little move. Then, I finally accepted the fact that I was going to have to try Mino q12h to see if it would act as a palliative. Sure enough, it knocked me back into the week before pain-wise, which meant the level of pain was tolerable again (though still very high). However, my FM-like symptoms increased to the point of much discomfort. Still, the trade-off has been worth it, as I am not afraid to move my body for fear of setting off the pain in my shoulder. I couldn't wrap my brain around how one symptom might be reduced while others increased (I had the same experience last year when I used Mino as a palliative) and so I asked for an explanation on my regular PR, and this is what Meg had to say, "Immunopathology follows no rules. Joints and soft tissues may have different bacterial combos, thus reacting differently to the same medication adjustment." We're all fighting for our lives here on this site. Some of us, no matter what tool we try in the toolkit, find that we must throw one weary punch after another with little break, with few moments of feeling better. Still, I find that my experience reflects what I see happening with other people experiencing success on the MP, and that is encouraging. For example, although some sxs abated, they later came back. The good news is, like the reports of other MPers, the sxs came back less intense and for shorter periods of time I plan to stay in the ring and deliver one knock out punch after another. One day at a time, one moment at a time. Last edited on Mon Jan 28th, 2008 23:29 by eClaire |
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VEZ R.N. Health Professional
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Thank you for the update Claire. Sorry you are having such a rough go of it with the shoulder. From reading your post I think you have got "it" down pat. You are right this is a fight for all of us and looks like you are in for the long haul. Keep up the good work and hang tough. Warm Regards, VEZ |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT HANGING IN THERE (AGAIN)! As I reported previously, switching to a q72h schedule for my mod phase 2 abx combo took three weeks for me to have a noticeable pay off in the reduction of IPR. Although it was the only strategy that I thought would work (short of switching to another abx combo), I was surprised at how long it took my body to register the improvement. (My impression is that this is not the case with most people and therefore my reason for posting--in case, your experience may be more like mine.) At any rate, like some, more frequent low dosing of Mino did not act as a palliative for me during phase 1 of the protocol. However, just recently (see above) I starting taking 25mg Mino q12h to provide palliation to my R shoulder (turned out to be roter cuff problem and not bursitis)--that is, it reduced the inflammation. However, even though the shoulder pain dampened, all sorts of other pain spiked (reaching a crescendo of intolerable pain) and I was also returned to the land of the split sleep schedule brought on by hot flash induced insomnia (these are not hot flashes, they are pork roasts). Well, after four days, the overall pain settled down. I still have little spikes here and there of what I call "perimeter pain" and I'm still getting the insomnia (although the length of time I am sleeping until the pork roast sets in is increasing). However, the R shoulder is improving and I'm tolerating the other symptoms, which are, of course, IPR--meaning, I'm still killing CWD. Just thought I'd note that sometimes you just have to hang in there when trying a new strategy (if it is tolerable or can be made tolerable). |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Progress Report # 7: I am on an MP break (tired of non-stop IPR, crisis in partnership), taking two Benicar a day (20mg 4 times a day), and I've been on the break since the beginning of March. Since being on my break I've noticed an improvement that I was not expecting for a few years given the kind of improvement that would be required (and also because I had been warned me not to expect much improvement until then for this particular problem). In the two years before I started the MP, I had the trigger fingers in my hands checked and just the exam itself set them off (it woke up my immune system I guess) and made it sooooo much worse. Well, they've stayed horrible while on the MP thus far (over a year). Now that I am on a break when I wake up (and only when I wake up--before all I needed to do was rest at a recline for 10 minutes) only the pinkie and ring finger of my right hand are causing problems, which are the two fingers that started having difficulty 16 years ago. I can feel the nodes in each hand and so I know there is still a lot of work to do, but they are on their way. I fully expect all ten knuckles to go into a rage again when I start the MP, but at least I know I am making progress with them!!! I am so psyched!!! Also, my nearly non-stop heel and foot pain are almost non-existent and my hand pain has lessened. No doubt these will act back up when I go back on the MP. Seeing the purpose behind the additional pain, Claire Noted...VEZ |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Progress Report #8: I am super psyched!!! I've read comments by some folk on the MP regarding improvement in their vision and I am writing to report MY VISION HAS IMPROVED at 52! I decided to try once again to get some prescription glasses to wear around the house (so I could stop looking 20+ years older with my NoIR fitovers), and because it had been 17 months since my last eye test, I decided it would be wise to have my eyes tested again. The doctor tested my old prescription and said he was surprised at how strong my biofocals were (I am farsighted and with farsighted people all over vision gets worse and worse with age, including close up, versus nearsighted people whose nearsightedness typically gets better while their close up vision gets worse). The eye doc said he can normally predict how strong biofocals should be based on the person's distance vision and her age. He said my previous prescription had me pegged around age 60. So not only has my prescription gotten better, I've gotten younger! He also told me that the quick decline in my vision (it took about two days to go from 1.25 bi-focal to 4.50 & 4.75 where it has stayed except for a slight worsening in the left eye) was not normal. This occurred a year and a few months before I became totally disabled--actually during a time when I should not have been working. Additionally, I used to have noisy vision pre-MP. If you can imagine ink on the printed page being wet and have an extremely fine wire brush whisk some of the ink out from the letters, this is what I saw whether on the printed page or on the eye doctor's wall. I've noticed in the last year, that the noisy vision has gone away as well. Now when I select the clearest print in an eye test, the letters are nice and crisp (not looking like they are hairsuit). I still have a ways to go vision wise (I'd be happy just to make it back to the kind of bi-focals one can pick up at 3 for $10), but I'm on my way! Claire (Note: I'm on an MP breaking, taking 20mg of Benicar four times a day.) Last edited on Sat Apr 26th, 2008 01:01 by eClaire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Progress Report #9: Today I restarted the MP after a nearly 3 month break from the abx and about a month's break from Benicar (I didn't write down the date when I stopped taking Benicar). I stopped the Benicar because it boosts my immune system enough to make me very exhausted and so I wanted to have a little bit of energy on break; mainly, to get a sense of my improvement since beginning the MP on 12/03/2006. As pre-break when I have energy, which there was a whole lot more of during break though still less than pre-MP on many days, the energy is of a much greater quality. I actually went to a party last evening (my big blow out before going back on the MP) and felt pretty normal. Well, pretty normal for someone who had had a long work week (that is, if I still worked and had long work weeks). Still, that was good. I couldn't have danced or anything like that, and I don't have enough energy or brain to hold down a part-time job yet, but I was able to socialize AND stand up in one place while doing so (versus grabbing a chair). Another thing I have not reported was the reduction in pain in my joints that I experienced while on break that was significantly better than pre-MP. Pre-MP when I went to the movie theater after sitting for the entire movie, I would have difficulty walking down the stairs to leave. I'd have to wait until I was the last to leave so I could hobble slowly down. While I still experienced some stiffness when I went to the movies on break, it was considerably less and I was able to walk down the stairs like a normal person. If you can avoid it (I couldn't), I'd recommend against a 3 month break, as after that long, it is daunting to face going back on the protocol. Two months will be my max in the future. Also, as Trevor has suggested, breaking is a great way, if you can do it, to prove to yourself that you are making progress, particularly if you are someone like me who has been pretty much done in by the MP. Claire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Progress Report #10 - What I noticed going back on the MP from break: It seems to me that symptoms can disappear and you don't realize they've disappeared until someone else mentions having them or you get them back. Well after going back on the MP and re-experiencing the exhaustion IPR that I get with just Benicar alone, I realized that I was once again experiencing the feeling that I was oxygen deprived (like I was not getting enough oxygen in my lungs). I had not noticed that I was not experiencing this symptom while on break. Yipee! More progress! Claire |
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Deb Grabetz Member in Phase 3 
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...and you deserve to see progress! Nothing makes me happier than to hear a great progress report through this journey of yours.... Hugs my friend, Deb |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Progress Report # 11: It's been a while since I've reported progress. What is said about the differences in abx is true. For me, Mino proved too much to handle during the first 14 months and instead of being palliative at higher doses, kicked my butt all the more. I made the switch to a different abx going back into mod phase 2 and took up another combo to help with my kidneys before facing Phase 2. At any rate, I began Phase 2 on October 29 (22 months into the MP). Yes, slow and steady wins the race and for some of us, slow is very slow. Here are a few "small" improvements that I've noticed. I have had to walk around my home with proper shoe insert supports (Superfeet, as the doctor supplied ones did not do the trick) since the spring of 2004. I am now able to walk around my home on hardwood floors in my socks witout experiencing additional foot pain! Yea!!! The incidences of shortness of breath are decreasing. When I started phase 2 (at half the dose of most given my past experience), thus far many of my old sxs came back (my second combo on mod ph 2 was quite nearly a break); however, thus far, my overall pain is reduced. My hair seems to be growing more quickly. Year before last I got by with just one haircut (cut short in the winter when I'm wearing a scarf to cover my neck and let to grow long to help provide coverage in the summer). Well, this year I had to cut my hair in August and will be cutting it again in the next week or so because it got too long and annoying. (Also, the hair on my forearms seems to be returning.) I can get by around the house without my NOIRs now with 25watt bulbs directly next to me and 40watt at a distance. Also, if my computer screen is turned down and at a distance I can watch a movie while I knit, which I need to do without NOIRS. If I use the computer up close, I have to put on the NOIRs and turn up the background light. Bright days are still uncomfortable with 2% NOIRs, but I no longer suffer neurological sxs as a result of having to go out during those times (though the discomfort can be enough to send me home if it is bright enough). (I try to stay out of the light unless absolutely necessary.) I can now go into any store with florescent lights and survive (hope this keeps up). I can even go into Walmart with 40% NOIRs...unbelievable. I know I'll have to go back on Mino eventually, as it really kicks CWD butt for me, but in the meantime, I was able to start Phase 2 and let the primary drug in that combo start working its wonders and reducing my CWD even more before the day when I start the mino back up. Well, that is it for now. Hang in there everyone. One moment at a time. Claire |
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Michele MBK Member in Phase 2
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Claire, I am so happy for you! It is good that you are adjusting well to phase II. Your improvements with light sensitivity are wonderful and bring tears to my eyes! Keep on keeping on! Michele |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Today I am despondent, which is not my norm (and not IP). I have been on the MP 2 1/3 years and have yet to turn the energy corner. In fact, my post exertional fatigue (how long it take me to recover) has gotten dramatically worse since last fall. My energy, which has been worse since being on the MP (entirely bedridden first 4 or 5 months), leaving me just slightly better (and I do mean slightly) than being bedridden since month six. Even as I have gotten over being bedridden, last fall when I started Z (only tried it once) and my kidney labs increased again (for the second time) my energy took a turn for the worse. (Because of sxs and kidney labs, I am back to M alone and just dropped back to 50mg after my creatinine rose from 1.57 to 2.14 when I ramped to 75mg. It had fallen from 1.66 to 1.57 while starting back up on M and the 25 and 50mg levels.) I went from being able to expend 30 to 45minutes of energy one to three times a week to being at point where if I do that I have difficulty fixing a simple meal for days or weeks on end. Severe post exertional fatigue. I haven't seen anything like this since one year before starting the MP. I wonder if there are others like me who got not only worse when it came to fatigue when they started the MP, but much worse two years in. Did you eventually begin to turn around. I mean, I can tolerate indoor light in my eyes now. Florescent included. So I can see improvement. Yet, the excruciating nature of this fatigue has me feeling like I am just prolonging my death. Sorry, but I am bummed, losing hope. Claire P.S. Note that I have read the MP site regarding kidneys and high labs are also a sign of needing to cut back on the abx. I am not off the abx; just cutting back because symptoms were escalating to near intolerable and creatinine was already at 2.14. Cutting back to 50mg Mino is not going to reduce the labs to normal any time soon. I am still killing plenty of CWD. I understand that I have to keep going with the high labs. I just choose to try to keep them below 2.0 if possible for wiggle room purposes. Right now the kidney labs seem to at least be a clue that CWD killing is going on. Last edited on Sat Mar 28th, 2009 06:02 by eClaire |
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BARNEY Moderator 
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Claire, Do you feel that some of your depression is the fact that you are spending more time at home and while being on MP needing to rest and not get to be involved in something 'fun' to do.....in other words 'same ole, same ole'. It really bothered me that I could not do or get done things that I wanted to do. I also felt depressed enough due to the fact that I felt that I was not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Did I hit it or miss it? If you have not read PeterHK's posts in Phase 2/3, please read them. I have a link I would like you to read while I keep searching for what I think is the right answer for you. Give me a little time and I think I can come up with a good answer. I don't want to give you bad suggestions. And remember I only have one kidney and my December 08 creatinne was high, but this month was back down. http://AutoimmunityResearch.org/transcripts/WCH_2008_ seminar_transcript.pdf Hang in, I will be back with more answers. HANG IN THERE, WE WILL MAKE IT!!!!BARNEY |
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Karon Member in Phase 3 
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Dearest Claire, I have not written to you in months......So very much going on. I read everything you post ,and look forward to it. You are a light for me. I want to reach out and hold you today, and let you have a good old fashion cry. Most times I want you to hold me and let me cry (in safety). You are not one to whine and complain...always helping others, so I know when you are down, YOU ARE DOWN.. All of my reading and reading tells me that you are half way there! Being so tired is the most common IP. It does feel like slow death sometimes, like we are wasting days and months sleeping and unable to do the day to day life chores. We both know that this is NOT TRUE! We are healing one minute, one day at a time. I am almost 12 months old now in MP time, so you are more than twice my age....I envy you! I feel that this is your storm before your calm. All is as it should be...Your body is working hard....But remember, it is working now. A beautiful poem about this exhausting, and spirit testing IP would be an amazing gift from you. You are an amazing writer! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I know I am only one of hundreds, that have so much love for you even though we have never met in person. Today my dear, I cry for you. I am sending angels to give you strength of mind and spirit, and it wouldn't hurt to have a few "feel great days" too. Love, pure and unconditional to you, Your MP Sister, always listening....... Karon in Ca. |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Well, Barney, I really do not think this is IP. I think I am just experiencing a perfect storm of sorts, as having "fun" has never been big on my agenda since I experience a lot of joy just being alive, though I do admit to missing gardening more than perhaps anything (Claire's idea of great fun). The unrelenting fatigue IP is wearing me down psychologically/spiritually, and I am in the middle of the one-year anniversary of the break up process with my ex-partner...having nightmares and the whole nine yards. Friday I also experienced the earthquake PTSD type feeling of "I can't believe she left me the way she did," which I hadn't had in a while, as I was beginning to feel as if I was turning the corner on the grief. But grief has its own plan and can knock the wind out of you at any time. Friday was a baseball bat sort of day (meaning, I was getting the wind knocked out of me). I am feeling better this morning--that is, I am not so despondant. I sort of gave myself over to it, rolled around in it a bit, felt the grief fully (the grief of the betrayal, the break up, and also the unrelenting nature of the MP), had my little pity party, let the mud settle, and found myself face to face with the sublime, and now I'm feeling better emotionally, more in touch with myself. Still supremely tired of being tired though. Thank you for your concern and the tip to read PeterHK's PR. I'll search that out. Karon, thanks so much for your dear note. It meant so much. However, I admit to jealousy when it comes to sleep, as I am not sleeping well (at least I could escape the fatigue if I were sleeping). My insomnia has gotten better in that I am now getting more sleep on a weekly basis, but boy am I tired of not falling asleep until 4:30am, 6:30am, or even later. (Funny, I seem to be more exhausted now that I am sleeping a bit more.) Right now, I've been awake since 2:30 pm yesterday. (And yes, for anyone reading this and wondering, I spent between 1:30am and 6:30 am this morning in the dark resting, waiting for sleep to come, but resting in case not...I'm betting on 8:30am this morning, as I am finally feeling sleepy now that I'm looking at a computer screen.) I have not posted much on lifestyles.com or written many emails in months as I have felt the need to keep to myself and I usually honor what my soul seems to want. (Having roommates seems to use up my interactive energy.) Despite that and the relationship grieving, I've experienced a good deal of joy. Thanks so much for your angels and all the unconditional love sent my way. I'm looking forward to a few of those feeling physically great days. Namaste, Claire |
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Freddie Ash Member in Phase 3 
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HI CLAIRE This is Fred in WV. Here is my 2 cents worth on your low energy and the creatinine levels. I remember you saying on one of the sites here that you were going to use a hot tub. If you did and it was hot enought it may have brought on the IPs. What happened to me a few weeks ago was after I took my evening show I would spray my whole body with hot water and this brought on a very strong IP of rashes itching & burning in my ankles, shins back & elbows. I stopped this and the IPs stopped. My legs even swelled up and that is mostly gone too. On the creatinine, when I first started the MP mine got as high as 3.6 and my doctor called wanting me to stop the Benicar but I never did stop it. On March 2 blood tests showed my creatinine at 1.5. It has been slowly going down for some time now. So as Barney says, "HANG IN THERE, WE WILL MAKE". I hope this helps in some way. Remember, we are all in this together and I am pulling for us. Your friend in Sarcoidosis Freddie |
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BARNEY Moderator
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Claire, First, let me say I can understand your feeling such a loss for losing your partner, I lost my husband almost 11 yrs ago and then when I started dating again ended up with one that broke my heart after 4yrs, next one was a bad choice, so I prayed about it and just decided to make my children and others my life, then a door opened and here came a wonderful partner. I was well down the road getting well on my MP and I feel now (with hindsight) it was good that I was alone during the first 3 yrs....it gave me more time to concentrate on me getting well. Yes....it's lonely and I shed a whole lot of tears in those first years. Then, I would pull me up by the bootstraps (so to speak) and put on some favorite music or tv show or go visit Granny who helped me keep my sanity. Now Granny, is not my Granny, she is my 86 yr old friend that helps me think clearly since I lost my mom 31 yrs ago. I am not wanting you to feel sorry for me, it is all well now.......but, what I am trying to say....when one door closes, a better one will open. Hang in there, work thru MP with all the energy you have left, and things will get better. This is how I survived MP............everything including depression is an IP (and it is) and I dealt with it with MP meds. The only nonMP meds I used were pain pills and Zyrtec when the pollen was high, just because it dried the mucus up so I could breathe thru my nose. I hope my silly little story helps you to get to a better level spirtually and emotionally. Suggestions that I think help...........sleep when your body tells you to....do not try to force it...it is okay to sleep in the daytime even tho we were taught differently and be up at night....until that part settles around, drink plenty of water (I find when I do not....the IPs intensify). I am on no abx at all and all that I have to lower IPs is Benicar. You could try no abx for a while and let the immune system do their job w/Benicar and see how you do. Remember the IPs including depression were there before the MP (some you did not realize were there), so it is the disease, not the Benicar. Fatigue....it is one of the worst IPs...but....it too lessens as you farther along on MP. When it hits...I have learned that I just sit or lie down and take a little xtra Benicar. Fighting the IPs only seem to make them worse for me. HANG IN THERE, WE WILL MAKE IT!!!BARNEY |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Thank you Barney. I am sorry for your loss and glad you had another opportunity at love. I am glad I am on the MP and not tempted to palliate my grief with a bad relationship. (I have no desire to be in relationship right now.) I'm in a good spot for grieving and focusing on for me getting well physically and I appreciate that. Also, I am not prone to feelings of loneliness. Though I have been affected by the isolation brought on by disability, that isolation has been virtually eradicated now that my good friend and his son are living here and helping to care for me. I have teens coming to the house, friends of Eric's coming to the house, his betrothed, a good friend of mine, coming to the house more often and so I am good in that department. I really do not think all my not so fun emotions are IP related. It is relatively clear to me when they are, as they are free floating and feel "extra" or heightened (that is, they have a sense of not belonging to me not being of me). Mostly, but not always, my "feels like an emotion" IP is limited to irritability, which was the primary affect of the illness pre-MP. However, I do a very good job of containing that, as I realize the source (that is, I am able to separate the source from the people around me). I also drink about 1/2 gallon of water a day. And althoughevery so often I am tempted to try to get my body to sleep through the night, I always come back to the conclusion that I have to sleep when I am sleepy or risk not sleeping at all. Freddie, I think you may be on to something about the baths, but I'm not sure. I have read the MP warnings and because of that have continued the baths from day 1 so that they remain a constant factor (so that their influence does not cause a spike in sxs) in an experimental sense. I do this because baths are meditative for me and I've been doing them my whole life. Being in water seems essential to my life, my very being, to my psychological wellness. Also, sometimes that is the only way I can get warm. I will say that there have been times where I am so exhausted that I do not bathe for a week and I don't notice feeling any better for not doing it. Baths will also help me sleep more than just about anything, as the rise and then the drop in body temperature when I get out of the tub seems to help bring on sleep. Benicar on the other hand seems to hype me up and make sleep more difficult. I am beginning to think I ought to take benicar about two hours before I think I will feel sleepy. Thanks for your suggestions. I will try taking benicar two hours before when I might feel sleepy (based on when I last was sleeping...in general I feel sleepy about 6 to 14 hours later, depending on whether I had one or two bouts of sleep closely together). I'll see how that goes, and then I'll give up the baths to see whether that has any added affect. Claire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Barney, I'm laughing at myself right now because in addition to irritability IP, I frequently have anxiety IP. (The main way anxiety was showing up pre-MP was in paying my bills, which had never been a problem before...just the sicker I got.) The MP has really brought that out, but since it is not connected to anything in my life, I find it pretty easy to ignore except when it comes time to fall asleep. Then, it interferes. Funny how you can get so used to something it doesn't even register any more. The good news is that I can do my bills now without much anxiety at all, and so while I have lots of free floating anxiety IP, where it counts I have less. Thanks for reminding me to look more closely at the emotional side of IP. I've been giving it more thought and think that I may have been hit harder Friday--my real feelings may have been supersized somewhat (and even a little bit, given what I was grappling with, would have been enough to significant)--because Benicar really exhausts me, and if it really exhausts me, it may also have contributed to the intensity of my depression. You see, I increased Benicar to 40mg q4h on Monday evening in response to my kidney labs. However, increased Benicar only palliates neuro symptoms for me and nothing else. Instead, increased amounts of Benicar (and increased frequency of dosing Mino) only serves to increase my immune response without palliation, which is why I usually try to stay at the q6h dosing schedule. This morning I was lying in bed after waking up from sleep and so tired, as if I were oxyen deprived (even the sides of my neck was hurting, which is a sign that I've really over done it...I over did it sleeping). It was like I had been climbing a mountain and had pushed myself to near passing out. That was it for me! I'm backing Benicar down to q5h today and back to q6h by Wednesday because this fatigue makes me want to invite the grim reaper into my life. Claire |
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Deb Grabetz Member in Phase 3
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Oh Claire, the mention of the  , had me rolling on the floor with laughter, not at you but with you, that even in the midst of unbearable IP...your humor still shines! |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Well, I'd never take matters into my own hands, but hey, if s/he (the reaper) is standing outside the door wondering whether to enter, my illness has certainly made me call out at times, "Hey you! What are you waiting for?!" Speaking of gallows humor, when I was most down last Friday, I thought to myself, "All I'm doing is prolonging my life... ... ... ...dragging out my death," which was promptly followed by, "Of course, after the age of 30 we're all doing that." I think I need some lessons on how to seriously wallow without levity. Claire |
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Karon Member in Phase 3
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So Happy to read your Feeling Better Claire...... You have made my morning.... LOL....THANK YOU! Mr. Grim taunts me too! BRING IT ON! XOXO Karon |
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Aunt Diana Moderator 
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"From the moment we are born, we begin to die..." wish I could remember who said that. Thomas Moore? I am not sure. but I do believe there's truth in them thar words. That is, until the MP came along. I think we need a new catchphrase for those of us who actually are experiencing a youthening bunch of symptoms, as our bacteria slowly exit our bodies. I'm excited to see what surprises may be in store for us. |
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Sallie Q Member in Phase 3 
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hello Claire I do think the experience sometimes called Depression is a natural protective mechanism for someone who is suffering trauma from accident or infection INCLUDING cwd infections; also protects brand new babies from their Mums bouncing up and getting back into what they used to do and forgetting all about needs of the baby. [n.b. I am taking the evolutionary or long view on this last obviously] So, in my perspective you are right not to think of your low moods as just IP  If ‘twere me I would think oh poor me it was so sad [true of some things in my history] THEN would think ah, have low mood , so when I wonder why, I remember time(s) when sad things happened, but I believe depressed shows I need more rest maybe I have or am about to get significant IP or maybe for some other reason need rest [e.g. not slept well recently need to catch up]hope you can follow my logic anyway I’m pretty sure there have been a few who reported bouts of worst case well into even phase 3 for some. And my doctor has told me I am not to attempt anything out of the daily grind until I have been on phase 3 for six months (heaven only knows when that will be, I’m still on ph 2)last night I slept well on Zith level 3, cycle 2 with 75 mino, slept badly for a couple weeks b4 that on 50 mino. Was worried about not enuf sleep so on 8 hourly beni because not getting back to sleep after morning pill. Next time I will try and remember your tip on taking the benecar an hour + before bed and do a warm, not hot bath before lying down. Thx for that just read yr more recent posts, “laughter, the best medicine” just as well my partner is paying the bills or I would be in jail for debt for sure  have to remember the anxiety which stops me from anything to do with money is just IP after all, thx againp.s. hope springs eternal and don’t you forget it |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Thanks Sallie, I won't forget it. AND I noticed that you are already in Phase 2. 2 1/3 years and I'm revisiting phase 1 only ever trying Zith once. It's all a matter of perspective. Me? I've been sick my whole life and totally disabled since 2003 (hanging on by my fingertips most of the other time). I'm having plenty of IP thank you very much just where I am and I have the kidney labs to prove it. And so my revisit to phase 1, though disappointing, isn't phasing me. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh my. Can't wait until a doctor has to order me to take it easy, as my body orders me around enough. My doctor is celebrating that I have new roommates because as he tells me, "You can't get better unless you get rest." I get the rest of most 105 year olds. Thanks for your note! Claire |
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BARNEY Moderator
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eClaire and Sallie Q, I woud like for both of you to watch and read the following links and if you have already read and watched them please do it again as it is a learning tool: The video of the seminar is at: http://www.vimeo.com/2599416 Transcript: http://autoimmunityresearch.org/transcripts/WCH_2008_seminar_transcript.pdf ALSO, Dr M has revised the Phase 1 which you will also want to read and print out. It no longer advises 8hr Benicar dosing....it is now minimum dosing of 6hrs. I hope this will help you in your MP journey. HANG IN THERE, WE WILL MAKE IT!!!BARNEY |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Thank you Barney I had watched the presentation, but had not read the transcript. One of the things that has been affirmed for me is that I have fall into the group of the sickest patients. Indeed, I had out of control IP for the first 4.5 months and barely controlled for the first year and 1/4. I had to take a break to reduce shoulder pain IP (and kidney IP) that was so bad that it made any movement difficult. My kidney issues rather than lasting 1 - 6 (as is mentioned for most) have lasted for over a year. When on Mino and Clindy (for 8 months), I could only take the abx twice a week and had one day a week where had a good 4 hours and the rest of the time I could not distinguish any waxing or waning in the sxs between doses and my symptoms were near to intolerable. Indeed, while I ramped Clindy, I was unabe to ramp Mino due to intolerable IP every time I tried to ramp. Also, my kidney labs (creatinine 2.14 and GFR, which is now 23 or 24) track that of the patient mentioned in the transcript except that taking Benicar q4h makes my fatigue so bad as to be intolerable. For example, I would wake up from being asleep for four hours or more and feel as if I had seriously overdone it with intolerable IP. That is, while still lying in bed--having not moved--I could not get my breath and the sides of my neck hurt--death felt around the corner. This has always been a sign pre-MP of me pushing myself to the point of intolerable symptoms, and yet I had been sleeping. (That had never happened before.) Also, my fingers were swollen all day instead of just in the morning. This, I don't think, could be a very good sign for the kidneys. I've now tried q5h and q6h and I immediately got relief from both the absolutely crushing fatigue and swollen fingers by switching to q5h. Q6h seems to be too little at the moment and so today I am trying q5.5hours, splitting the difference. I'll go back to q5h if that is what is needed. I am taking it slow and easy because I have to, and yet look forward to getting through Mino again and then to Mino + Bactrim and then Mino + Clindy. I hope when I take Mino + Clindy this time that I will be able to take it q48h and ramp Mino as well as Clindy while keeping the IP tolerable. Doing Mino alone this time around is easier (except for the kidney labs), and so I can see much improvement in that regard. I am looking forward to the day when elevated kidney labs will be a thing of the past. Then, once I get through Mino + Clindy, I will be ready to try Zith again. Right now, though, I am just beginning to see a reduction in some sxs and a waxing and waning of sxs in the 48hour cycle. This is a first and it took over two years to get here. Slow and steady. Claire |
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thelymelight Member in Phase 1 
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Claire, Have you ever tried taking benicar 20mg every 2-3 hrs instead of the 40mg every 4-6 hrs? When I first started on Olmesartan 40mg in Feb '08..I found about an hour after taking it I got more pain, fatigue and can't remember right now, but did get some other troubling sxs...oh I think Shortness of Breath as well...I perioodically consult with Dr. B a very experienced MP Dr. in Vancouver...he suggested I use the 20mg every 2-3 hrs.... I can't remember now, but he did explain to me why I was having difficulty with the 40mg and I believe it was something to do with my kidneys...I only take 40mg at bedtime, then again 4-6 hrs later in the nite, to allow me to sleep longer..but seem to do better in the day with taking 20mg. Also I get my Olmesartan compounded with Avicel filler, not lactose filler... Sorry I am a bit woozy/dizzy right now as I am responding to your post...(actually I took a 20mg Olmesartan w/lactose in it a few hrs ago and feel all confused right now) I may remember more on another day...Next time I speak with Dr. B. I am going to ask him again why it was I didn't tolerate the 40mg so well and if I remember, I will let you know the answer.. Is it possible that this is also an issue for you? |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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I've tried that before and it did not help, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't help now. I'm going to stick with my plan through the next set of labs (on the 17th), and then I'll probably give that a try. Thanks for reminding me of that dosing option. Claire |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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I've been on the MP since 12/06/2006 Because I was very very sick in the beginning, my progress has been slow, but I have progressed. Prior to starting the protocol I had difficulty reclining in my recliner for more than 20 minutes and could only walk about for a couple of hours a couple days a week (if I had not overdone it and found myself bedridden for days, weeks, or months in a row). Walking I could do, but sitting and standing were next to impossible. Plus when I walked, I felt like walking death. Essentially I was mostly bedridden...even unable to recline in bed without getting short of breath and overly exhausted (imagine getting exhausted just by lying at a slight elevation). While my energy is still very low (unless I take a break from the MP and then my energy is greatly and consistently improved), I can now stand long enough to make meals, sit long enough to eat at the dining room table without a problem, and recline in my recliner for hours on end (8 to 12 hours or more). I can also do my own laundry and run a couple of errands a week. Mostly when I walk about now, I no longer feel like walking death. That is, when I have energy--the little bit that I have--, I feel good. The grim reaper no longer feels like he is breathing down my neck. Also, the peripheral neuropathy I developed in my feet and hands in the year before the MP is gone, as well as a nerve symptom I've had in one foot for over 30 years. Besides vision improvement (OMG, I can see the numbers and the hands of the small clock next to my bed and I have been unable to make that out for over eight years now), my bladder is stronger and I no longer suffer from urinary incontinence (sp). The MP road is not easy--not the magic bullet so many people long for. I'm still sick and tired of being sick and tired--only now I can now see the light shining at the end of the tunnel when before I was doing the MP on faith alone. So my outlook is much improved, hopeful. (So hopeful that I've purchased the new suitcases I plan to use when I take a wellness vacation a few years from now.) Also, the immunopathology I get keeps getting better over time, which makes the protocol less difficult. I lost 30 pounds in the first few months eating exactly what I had been eating for years (some people don't lose weight right away--it may take them a number of years; perhaps because they had been taking steroids or consuming a lot of "vitamin" D prior to starting the MP). I attribute my quick weight loss to the balancing out of my hormones and my metabolism getting back on track. I've since lost another 10 pounds--I'm back to my perfect weight for me and eating like a champ. I think it may take me another 3 to 4 years to be functional (i.e., to return to work), and I may be on the protocol in some modified fashion for one or more years after that (and also do yearly tune ups no doubt). However, I was headed for death in the short term before starting the MP. Also, I want to see just how well I can get, as I've been sick since I was a child and I really have no idea what it feels like to feel well. So I'm going to ride out this therapy until I get a sense of what normal good health is all about. I truly do not believe I'd be alive today if not for the MP. Just thought you'd appreciate an update. Claire |
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Vicki SA Member in Phase 3 
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Claire, Good to hear of your progress. I think this is a very encouraging post for the more severely affected with CFS! Cheerio Vicki |
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Sunbeam Member in Phase 2
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Hi Claire, Right at the moment your post is exactly what I needed to hear. Keep on the right track, Take care, Lynn |
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Aunt Diana Moderator
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Great news, Claire. Attitude is everything. Your comment about being sick since childhood has rung a note with me. The more I go through this protocol and experience the never ending variety of IP, the more I realize how sick I was as a child. I was the oldest of four..my sister, who came 4 years behind me, always seemed to have boundless energy. It so happens she has too much energy (she's manic, frequently). but , oh how I have envied her that energy. But I always seemed to be energetic and driven....I overcame many obstacles in my life that would have been difficult for even the healthiest. (my husband's nickname for me is "crabgrass".) I wonder what I could have accomplished if I had not been ill? I guess I'll never know. But, I can see the illness in my niece...she's very capable and blessed with many great attributes, but I can see the struggle and how hard she works to overcome the lack of energy. I wish her parents could see it, but they don't, and they think I'm a hypochondriac. |
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eClaire Member in Phase 2
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Diana, What you say sounds so very familar. I had great tenacity, perserverance, and smarts (if I do say so myself). And despite looking like a person of energy, my energy was limited. I just always thought it was allergies or I was out of shape or I had over extended myself. But no matter how much I got into shape, the fatigue would hit, I'd have to slow down for some time, and then the energy dance would begin all over again, which doesn't even begin to address all the other symptoms I had over the years. Not only did my energy limit me (and make my traditional husband upset over my haphazard housekeeping skills--I actually love to keep a clean house and did whenever I had enough energy...and so for now, I have a housekeeper), the chemical sensitivities I developed threw a major wrench into my life dreams and career hopes and cost me much in the way of income over the years. Although I wanted them, I didn't have children because I thought my illness could be inherited.  I didn't even know that I enjoyed cooking until I became disabled and could finally stand long enough to cook again (just recently). Seems I was always too tired to cook even though I would drag myself through the process. I wonder what percentage of us grew up with the label "hypochrondric" or "lazy"? Sorry to hear about your niece. At least she will have you when she is ready and able to address her health. Claire Last edited on Sat May 9th, 2009 05:56 by eClaire |
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